One Year Later: Reflecting On My Yirst Fear On Twitch

Following my post reflecting on my first month of streaming, I thought I would follow up with another after an entire year being a broadcaster on the site.

Streaming is tough, tougher than I ever imagined but it is also one of the best things I have ever done. As many of you will know I came from a YouTube background and towards the end I just was not happy. My passion for content creating was dwindling, mainly due to the toxic people that surrounded me. The Twitch community is so uplifting, so encouraging. It was so warming to be around so many positive people who love what they do and I have learnt so much along the way.

One thing I always struggled with on YouTube was comparing myself to others and feeling like I was not good enough. I have improved so much with this over the past year, I look up to my successful Twitch friends, I help them and they help me. We work together we are a team, nobody is below anybody else. I began to see myself as an equal and became so proud of what I was doing and I still am!

Being on Twitch has also boosted my confidence. As someone who suffers with incredibly low self-esteem, Streaming live on the internet with my face there for everyone to see was a big deal and it still is. I was incredibly conscious in the beginning but now I can honestly say I feel at home when I'm live. Its a time for be to sit back in my chair play a game and forget about real life troubles and responsibilities. I can laugh and hang out with my community and make new friends, something I struggle with in real life. Don't get me wrong, sometimes there are times where streaming feels like a chore, it is so difficult to grow and it feels like such a hard grind at times, so hard I want to throw in the towel entirely and give up. But I don't, why? Because there are people out there who believe in what I do, people who support me every single day even when I struggle to believe in myself. They look forward to my stream after a hard day at work, I'm providing something positive for them and I want to continue to do that.

Twitch is not all rainbows and butterflies though. There are some negative people, viewers and broadcasters who I have tried my best to keep a distance from. Not everyone has the same vision as you and not everyone has the same goals as you do. I learnt that sometimes you have to be careful who you befriend. I have been used, copied, criticised the list goes on. Some people are extremely envious and just want to social climb to aid their own success. It is important to know when this is happening and distance yourself when necessary. Then there's chat trolls, ahhhh gotta love those! (not) In my first few months of streaming me and another streamer were continually attacked by a group of trolls who till this day still try to visit! Making foul named accounts and following to trigger an on-screen alert. Following us on social media and trolling across platforms, they went to so many lengths to say nasty things. What can you do about it? Block, ban, report and move on. Unfortunately this is the internet and there are not "internet police" so to speak. I learnt not to take what these people say seriously or to heart. They want the reaction, that is what they do it for. Don't give it to them and they will move on. Always better to report them though in the hope that Twitch catches on and stops them from being able to move on to anybody else.

The most important thing I learnt is to never give up. Sometimes it feels like you will never achieve your goals but you can and you will. You've just got to persevere and keep going. Some months are slow and some are incredibly successful, you never know what is around the corner every stream. Never underestimate your community!

This post only touches the surface on all the things I have learnt during my first year, but I thought these were some of the most important things. Feel free to ask questions below if you would like to know more and thank you for reading.

#retrospective